Return of the Snot Monster

Yep, this cold is in full force. My ears and throat are killing me, so I suspect that it's an ear infection. I'm one of those lucky people who continue to get ear infections as an adult. As a side note, an ear infection could partially explain how I lost my balance and fell down the stairs the other day.

At any rate, I am tired, cold, feeling crappy, and ready to go home and get into my jammies and sleep for a month. It hurts to swallow which is just the most awful thing ever because it makes it hard to do anything comfortably, even sleep. But it isn't as bad as my raging strep of 1995 so I really can't complain. My raging strep haunts me to this day, I was bedridden for a week, home for 2. It was resistant to the first antibiotic I was put on, and I was unable to eat anything but jello & popsicles during that time - anything else hurt too much to swallow.

I am a bit of a big baby when I am sick. It makes me sad that my parents are nowhere nearby to make me some chicken soup. My husband could make me chicken soup, but he'd have to make it from a can. I don't know if I actually have an appetite though. I might just have some tea and NyQuil for dinner tonight.

Thank goodness for Puffs Plus though. My nose is far less chapped from snot-blowing compared to how it would be with ordinary facial tissues.

Um...believe it or not I was thinking about weight loss and health and the new year and all that...I really was. It's just not easy to form a cohesive plan when I'm shivering at my desk. This week sucks. Why did I have to get sick THIS week?

Oh I know why I wanted to post. It's because of how I felt being at my in laws'. My in laws' are nice enough people, however I get the impression that they DO NOT LIKE FAT PEOPLE. At first I thought it was just me being hyper-sensitive, until I was talking to one of my SILs who is also married into the family. She mentioned that she often felt like they didn't like her until she lost her weight.

The grandparents often make snarks about fat celebrities or fat people. The grandmother likes to offer me salad when she's offering everyone else sandwiches or whatever. She also gives me smaller portions than everyone else. Nothing huge, just lots of little things that I try to ignore, but can't. It just makes me feel gross and uncomfortable. Not even in a blaming-myself kind of way. It just makes me angry, it makes me feel like they are slithering snakes who are all up to something. I wonder if they hold meetings on discussing what to do about the fat daughter-in-law in the basement at midnight and sacrifice obese orphan children to the god of perfect bodies and type-a personalities.

In addition to that, I have an appointment with Nutty McAppletree, the crazy therapist, next week. I promised myself I would write down some notes on what I want to say and what I want to get out of my time with her. I am anxious though - I don't know if there is any hope for a woman who suggests flying a kite or playing solitaire as the perfect solution to binge eating. And then reads me a story about an apple tree.

One more chance. That's all I will give.

I wish I was feeling better. I need some mental clarity and energy, stat.