What do I *need*?
In the past hour I have told myself several things.
I *need* something to eat.
I *need* a snack.
I *can't* handle today without a snack break.
I *deserve* to go get something yummy out of the vending machine.
I *should* get my husband to take me out to dinner.
I *need* a margarita when today is done. And some molten chocolate cake.
I know I'm not truly hungry, and if I was I have some almonds and a juicy tangelo for an afternoon snack. But I'm not hungry. I am overwhelmed, I am tired, I am frustrated, I am confused. I feel incompetent and nervous and anxious. Work has gotten very busy all of a sudden and I feel like I can't handle it. On top of that, I didn't get much sleep last night, and the sleep I did get was filled with stressful dreams.
I am craving not sweets, but the feeling of relaxation, soothingness, release that I get from diving headfirst into something delicious. I feel like I need that little chemical escape from my rough day.
So, I am avoiding that vending machine for now. Maybe if I can't resist I will have some WW oatmeal (2 points) for my afternoon snack ... it has a bit of sweetness but not nearly as much sugar as the Peanut M&Ms I'm craving.
I *need* something to eat.
I *need* a snack.
I *can't* handle today without a snack break.
I *deserve* to go get something yummy out of the vending machine.
I *should* get my husband to take me out to dinner.
I *need* a margarita when today is done. And some molten chocolate cake.
I know I'm not truly hungry, and if I was I have some almonds and a juicy tangelo for an afternoon snack. But I'm not hungry. I am overwhelmed, I am tired, I am frustrated, I am confused. I feel incompetent and nervous and anxious. Work has gotten very busy all of a sudden and I feel like I can't handle it. On top of that, I didn't get much sleep last night, and the sleep I did get was filled with stressful dreams.
I am craving not sweets, but the feeling of relaxation, soothingness, release that I get from diving headfirst into something delicious. I feel like I need that little chemical escape from my rough day.
So, I am avoiding that vending machine for now. Maybe if I can't resist I will have some WW oatmeal (2 points) for my afternoon snack ... it has a bit of sweetness but not nearly as much sugar as the Peanut M&Ms I'm craving.
4 Comments:
Way to go, Shrinky! I'm glad you figured out what was going on and what you *really* needed.
I think that one of the hardest lessons that I learned in life (and the one that took the longest too) is that I don't need to reward myself with food. I would always need a brownie cause I had a bad day or need a burger cause I had done something right.
Maybe you can find little things you want that are not food and reward yourself with those? Just an idea!
I know exactly how you feel. Seriously, I feel the same way a lot lately. But if you can ride out the valley, then the peak will surely be just up the road! My work will incredibly busy and chaotic throughout February, so you can be damn sure I'll be taking lots of time off in March!
Keep your chin up, and stick to your instincts.
But I'm not hungry. I am overwhelmed, I am tired, I am frustrated, I am confused. I feel incompetent and nervous and anxious. ~ me too. this is my thing, this misinterpretation of all things as the need to eat, as hunger. it is the challenge of my life to figure out a way to be aware of and recognize what's really going on with me when i'm thinking i'm hungry.
it's hard. good for you that you're working it out. overwork is my major trigger. balance is a goal, but i'm not there, not even close. alas. always work to be done...
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