Stop Obsessing!
I've been OP & doing fairly well with it (for me, at least) since last Monday, so we're just barely over a week OP. I feel like I'm in the groove & all that. And I'm terrified because I think I often get to this point. And somehow it crumbles away from me. And as much as right now, while I'm doing well and feeling good, I can tell myself that I won't let it ... how can I really know what's going to happen? I have said so many times that I would keep it up. I have promised myself so many times that this time would be the last time I would have to start over. And every other time, it has been a lie. Not an intentional lie, but a lie nonetheless.
I guess what is so frustrating is that there's no FF button to press while I'm hot. I'm motivated, I'm inspired, I'm doing well! I want to lock in the motivation and rush forward a month or two. Time seems to move so slowly, especially when I look at where I am right now, and where I'd like to be. Hell, I've only had one WI since being back OP, and it was a fucking gain. But it is going to take many, many WI's, some better than others, to get even halfway to where I want to be. How can I wait? The waiting sucks. It feels like I have to sit and twiddle my thumbs and be completely passive. I mean, the food is in check. My workouts are planned. Now what?
This is why diet obsession scares me so much. Maybe that is why this point in a diet is so dangerous for me. Clearly I am not doing this in the background if I'm so impatient, and I'm scrounging for something else diet-related to do. Come on, Shrinky, it's food and exercise! It's not supposed to be the main focus of a person's life! It's pathetic to be sad that there isn't more I can do. Don't I have a life? Don't I want one?!
I have piles of books that I've been dying to read, movies I've wanted to watch, thank you cards I need to write, an apartment to straighten up, a husband to hang out with, stories I want to write, research I need to do...and yet all I can think about is how I wish I was doing more diet stuff. Ridiculous. I have to shift my focus. It's just not healthy!
I guess what is so frustrating is that there's no FF button to press while I'm hot. I'm motivated, I'm inspired, I'm doing well! I want to lock in the motivation and rush forward a month or two. Time seems to move so slowly, especially when I look at where I am right now, and where I'd like to be. Hell, I've only had one WI since being back OP, and it was a fucking gain. But it is going to take many, many WI's, some better than others, to get even halfway to where I want to be. How can I wait? The waiting sucks. It feels like I have to sit and twiddle my thumbs and be completely passive. I mean, the food is in check. My workouts are planned. Now what?
This is why diet obsession scares me so much. Maybe that is why this point in a diet is so dangerous for me. Clearly I am not doing this in the background if I'm so impatient, and I'm scrounging for something else diet-related to do. Come on, Shrinky, it's food and exercise! It's not supposed to be the main focus of a person's life! It's pathetic to be sad that there isn't more I can do. Don't I have a life? Don't I want one?!
I have piles of books that I've been dying to read, movies I've wanted to watch, thank you cards I need to write, an apartment to straighten up, a husband to hang out with, stories I want to write, research I need to do...and yet all I can think about is how I wish I was doing more diet stuff. Ridiculous. I have to shift my focus. It's just not healthy!
2 Comments:
I actually do something like that...before I go grocery shopping, I plan out my meals for the week along with a few approved snacks. It's just that I want to spend MORE time doing planning stuff, because it's like I feel like that will make me lose weight faster....even though I know it won't and it will just make me burn out.
I really just need to focus on getting a life. :-) Or at least finding engrossing things on tv so I can pretend to have a life.
I'm COMPLETELY in the same place. I know I can do this. I just want it to be done already. I want the week to fly buy so I can watch the pounds come off.
I almost don't even care what else I'm doing during those months. Which is just silly. My life isn't supposed to be about my weight OR my weight loss.
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