Rethinking...

Ok I'm already taking back what I previously wrote about BCB. I feel so resistant to making a committment to do something whole-heartedly. I don't know why. Well, maybe I do. It's because any sort of food moderation feels like punishment on some level. "You don't get to have that, but all your skinny friends do."

Naturally my response is to say "Screw that", and have the forbidden fruit (or Snickers) anyway. And then I fall into the carbohydrate chain reaction where a candy bar begets a bagel which leads to some potato chips and regular Coke and maybe a couple of slices of pizza...for a *snack*.

But as I posted on BCB, I am sick of my excuses and self-pity. I took too long to get back on track this time. But I have to stop looking at Weight Watchers as punishment or a chore. It's a choice. A choice that I made. And I made it because I want to feel good! And look good! And be healthy!

I can easily make a different choice. I can choose to ignore my weight and my diet. But I have to remember that I truly do not believe that I have a limit with regards to how much weight I can gain. I took 3 months off from WW and tried to eat "intuitively". In all honesty, I don't even think my eating was *that* bad in that time. And yet I gained 30 lbs! I went from 230 to 260. And that will be the result, and then some, if I choose to relax and ignore my weight and my diet. It will only get worse, and it will only get harder. And I will keep having to buy bigger and bigger clothes as everything in my wardrobe gets tighter and tighter and less and less flattering.

Anyway, I have been back OP today. Doing well. Feeling ok. Tired though. And my damn cough came back. I hate this cough!