A Little Better
I'm feeling a little better...the whole situation with my therapist is so frustrating. I can't even figure out why it makes me so upset, it just does. Last night I was doing ok, but then I just started crying and crying. K was trying to help, but there isn't much he can do. I mean, unless he wants to beat up people at the insurance company.
At any rate, there is a silver lining. I was upset, so I cried and journalled about it. But, I didn't eat because of it. I finished the day 100% OP and didn't even do any midnight munching. Honestly, I thought about it briefly, but I didn't really have to fight very hard to not binge. I just wanted to cry so I let myself.
I was so wired and stressed from crying, and my nose was all stopped up from crying, that I couldn't fall asleep. At 1:30 am, after lying in bed for an hour and a half and still feeling wide awake, I decided to just get up and drink some water and play Puzzle Pirates for a little bit to get my mind off of things that I couldn't do anything about until the morning anyway.
So, I didn't get very much sleep last night, but I am feeling a bit better. I got a voicemail from one of the new doctors I called about taking over my meds management, so I am going to continue playing phone tag with him and see if I can get an appt within the month so I'm not left hanging without any antidepressants. I am going to put off working on finding a new therapist and trying to work things out with my current therapist until Monday. I am tired & I have a few other things stressing me out, so I'd rather focus on a couple things at a time. The talk therapy isn't as urgent as the medication anyway, only because I won't get withdrawal symptoms if I lapse on my therapy for a few days/weeks.
So, for today and tomorrow, I am going to attempt to talk with the above mentioned new doctor. I am going to buy some supplies for card-making for my holiday cards. I am going to straighten up the apartment a bit more and do a couple of loads of laundry.
This weekend K & I have plans with friends to go out to a burrito joint (I have pointed out a tasty and yet healthy option already) and then go see Happy Feet, and then go to our friends' place to watch Battlestar on Friday...then on Saturday we are going to our nephews' first & third birthday party (their birthdays are a week apart!). I am not sure what the food is going to be like at the birthday party, but they always have a veggie platter and I will just do the best I can. Saturday night I am going to stay home and try & crank out as many thank-you notes as possible.
I still have about 4 large bags of papers to sort through. It makes me sick to think about it. But I need to get started. I will feel so much better once the apartment is straightened up and the papers are taken care of and the thank-you's are sent out. I think these things have been weighing on me pretty heavily. I'd like that to be my focus for the weekend. And my reward will be renting a movie with K on Sunday night and just truly & utterly relaxing.
At any rate, there is a silver lining. I was upset, so I cried and journalled about it. But, I didn't eat because of it. I finished the day 100% OP and didn't even do any midnight munching. Honestly, I thought about it briefly, but I didn't really have to fight very hard to not binge. I just wanted to cry so I let myself.
I was so wired and stressed from crying, and my nose was all stopped up from crying, that I couldn't fall asleep. At 1:30 am, after lying in bed for an hour and a half and still feeling wide awake, I decided to just get up and drink some water and play Puzzle Pirates for a little bit to get my mind off of things that I couldn't do anything about until the morning anyway.
So, I didn't get very much sleep last night, but I am feeling a bit better. I got a voicemail from one of the new doctors I called about taking over my meds management, so I am going to continue playing phone tag with him and see if I can get an appt within the month so I'm not left hanging without any antidepressants. I am going to put off working on finding a new therapist and trying to work things out with my current therapist until Monday. I am tired & I have a few other things stressing me out, so I'd rather focus on a couple things at a time. The talk therapy isn't as urgent as the medication anyway, only because I won't get withdrawal symptoms if I lapse on my therapy for a few days/weeks.
So, for today and tomorrow, I am going to attempt to talk with the above mentioned new doctor. I am going to buy some supplies for card-making for my holiday cards. I am going to straighten up the apartment a bit more and do a couple of loads of laundry.
This weekend K & I have plans with friends to go out to a burrito joint (I have pointed out a tasty and yet healthy option already) and then go see Happy Feet, and then go to our friends' place to watch Battlestar on Friday...then on Saturday we are going to our nephews' first & third birthday party (their birthdays are a week apart!). I am not sure what the food is going to be like at the birthday party, but they always have a veggie platter and I will just do the best I can. Saturday night I am going to stay home and try & crank out as many thank-you notes as possible.
I still have about 4 large bags of papers to sort through. It makes me sick to think about it. But I need to get started. I will feel so much better once the apartment is straightened up and the papers are taken care of and the thank-you's are sent out. I think these things have been weighing on me pretty heavily. I'd like that to be my focus for the weekend. And my reward will be renting a movie with K on Sunday night and just truly & utterly relaxing.
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