What's for Dinner?
One thing I hate about when I get back OP, and maybe this is something I can work on, is that I become fixated on what I can eat next. Like, I'll set aside a snack to eat halfway between lunch & dinner. Immediately after lunch I'm checking my watch to see if it's time for me to have my snack. Is it snacktime yet? Is it snacktime yet? Then once snacktime is over, I start contemplating dinner. Usually I will have planned it long ago, but I may revise my dinner plan, or think of what it will be like to cook it, and eat it, and count the points, and see if I can find ways to bulk it up and make it more substantial.
Part of it is that I actually am hungry. I don't know why people say that you shouldn't be hungry on WW. It's a calorie restricted diet, if you're doing Flex. My body is probably used to consuming 3,000-4,000 calories a day when I'm not paying attention, and yet it's now being coerced to stay around 30 points, or 1,500 calories. So, yeah, I feel hungry! I mean the whole point of losing weight is eating less calories than you burn, so your body starts burning up its own fat stores for energy. So...like...you get so hungry you start digesting yourself. At least this is how I see it in my [insane] mind. Because I'm hungry, and I'm hungry all the time. And it makes me so mad to see the journals of little girls who eat 20 points a day and exercise for 2 hours, and their meals are like a handful of baby carrots and scrambled egg whites, and they clearly are not wired like a foodie because they're not hungry - they feel great - but I am starving just looking at their daily menu.
Although I suppose these people are really the exception to the rule, and maybe other people feel hungry on a reduced calorie diet too. Although my hope is that I will get used to it. I do recall times, after being OP for a week or so, where I felt good and I became a Rabid Weight Watcher and couldn't imagine not being able to stay OP and couldn't imagine wanting to eat bad. So there must be a point where the stomach gets used to smaller meals and gets on with life. But getting there is a bitch.
But, dear god, I do not want to become a Rabid Weight Watcher again. I just want to be me, a normal person who is losing weight in the background. Rabid Weight Watching is pure hell, because it's a waste of time. All you have to do is eat right and exercise a bit. There is no rule that Weight Watchers must make cutesy puns and spout cliches and rhymes about how "Nothing Tastes as good as Thin Feels!" and "Finding my WEIGH to good health!"
I hate puns. I hate them. OhmygodIhatethemsomuch.
But anyway, most Weight Watchers are a-ok in my book...I have been good about ignoring the RWW's and focusing on people who I like and find motivating & inspiring.
Anyway.
Have I mentioned I'm hungry? I had an unplanned trip to the vending machine, but I got a 4 point Rice Krispy treat instead of one of the higher point snacks. I have all my WPA's, so even if I don't totally fit it into my day's plan, I'm covered.
Justifying every snack choice I make makes me hate myself just a little. I think I have to either get over it, or stop obsessing! Why can't I stop obsessing! Is it because it's hard not to, or is it because I'm avoiding other things I don't want to deal with? You can spend countless hours online obsessing about food & WW by the way. I've done it. From scouring message boards & blogs, to looking up restaurants with Nutritional Info and pointing out all of the meals that sound good...there are a million ways to be insanely obsessed with WW. I do not want to go down that path.
I have to remind myself, I know how to do WW, I do not need to do research anymore. I need to focus on what's inside me, instead of what's going to go inside my mouth.
But I'm so crazy right now that I almost don't care about deeper issues. I just want to eat some dinner!
Part of it is that I actually am hungry. I don't know why people say that you shouldn't be hungry on WW. It's a calorie restricted diet, if you're doing Flex. My body is probably used to consuming 3,000-4,000 calories a day when I'm not paying attention, and yet it's now being coerced to stay around 30 points, or 1,500 calories. So, yeah, I feel hungry! I mean the whole point of losing weight is eating less calories than you burn, so your body starts burning up its own fat stores for energy. So...like...you get so hungry you start digesting yourself. At least this is how I see it in my [insane] mind. Because I'm hungry, and I'm hungry all the time. And it makes me so mad to see the journals of little girls who eat 20 points a day and exercise for 2 hours, and their meals are like a handful of baby carrots and scrambled egg whites, and they clearly are not wired like a foodie because they're not hungry - they feel great - but I am starving just looking at their daily menu.
Although I suppose these people are really the exception to the rule, and maybe other people feel hungry on a reduced calorie diet too. Although my hope is that I will get used to it. I do recall times, after being OP for a week or so, where I felt good and I became a Rabid Weight Watcher and couldn't imagine not being able to stay OP and couldn't imagine wanting to eat bad. So there must be a point where the stomach gets used to smaller meals and gets on with life. But getting there is a bitch.
But, dear god, I do not want to become a Rabid Weight Watcher again. I just want to be me, a normal person who is losing weight in the background. Rabid Weight Watching is pure hell, because it's a waste of time. All you have to do is eat right and exercise a bit. There is no rule that Weight Watchers must make cutesy puns and spout cliches and rhymes about how "Nothing Tastes as good as Thin Feels!" and "Finding my WEIGH to good health!"
I hate puns. I hate them. OhmygodIhatethemsomuch.
But anyway, most Weight Watchers are a-ok in my book...I have been good about ignoring the RWW's and focusing on people who I like and find motivating & inspiring.
Anyway.
Have I mentioned I'm hungry? I had an unplanned trip to the vending machine, but I got a 4 point Rice Krispy treat instead of one of the higher point snacks. I have all my WPA's, so even if I don't totally fit it into my day's plan, I'm covered.
Justifying every snack choice I make makes me hate myself just a little. I think I have to either get over it, or stop obsessing! Why can't I stop obsessing! Is it because it's hard not to, or is it because I'm avoiding other things I don't want to deal with? You can spend countless hours online obsessing about food & WW by the way. I've done it. From scouring message boards & blogs, to looking up restaurants with Nutritional Info and pointing out all of the meals that sound good...there are a million ways to be insanely obsessed with WW. I do not want to go down that path.
I have to remind myself, I know how to do WW, I do not need to do research anymore. I need to focus on what's inside me, instead of what's going to go inside my mouth.
But I'm so crazy right now that I almost don't care about deeper issues. I just want to eat some dinner!
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